It’s not sycin’! It’s passed on! This router is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet it’s maker! It’s a doorstop! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed it to the shelf it’d be propping open the door! It’s routing tables are now ‘istory! It’s a chunk of metal! It’s kicked the bucket, it’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-ROUTER!!

Ahh… I feel so much better!

What am I talking about? – My router that’s what!

My Netgear DG834Gv2 has faithfully served myself and the business for many years (it’s quite a mature router), never so much as letting out a whimper in disgust as traffic is flushed through it for several hours a day and then it is left silent and lonely.

download Tipping the Velvet

Then unceremoniously at 9:10am on a beautiful morning several weeks ago, it stopped – logged out of the internet and gave up the ghost – never to sync again! Unfortunately it went through this moment quite alone, and to all eyes (well my ISP) it looked like it was just having a little rest!

This caused some confusion (for me not the router!), and I promptly got on the blower to my internet provider, “Do you have any problems in my local area?” I tentatively asked… No, nothing – not so much as a BT man running over a line, or a friendly little lightning strike on the exchange.

Several line tests and some confusion about what our phone number really was (I knew BT would have some part in this mess!), I was asked to perform a further diagnosis on my equipment:

  • New Filters
  • Plugged into the Master socket (with nothing else on the line)
  • I asked whether a new router test should be necessary (apparently not – I was reasonably thankful – I didn’t want to upset the current router showing it it’s understudy in the cupboard whilst it was in such a fragile state!).

Stand clear! – Charging!

Before I know where I was, I was sat on the hall floor, master socket in pieces with the router and my EEE PC, performing a post-mortem on my equipment.

Nothing, it could of course be the line…..

That’s when DigiDave came to the rescue. not two weeks prior I had gained an understudy for my router – a FREE router from DigiDave – no box, no manual – just the router and power supply – postage was all it cost me!

I shielded the Netgear router from the sight of me plugging in the 2Wire space age looking router….

Prodigy infinitum inalambrico

Creative Commons License photo credit: Christian Frausto Bernal

3 minutes, that’s all it took to get it up and running! 3 minutes!

Having spoken to my ISP and declared my router officially deceased I was advised to work back through the system, when I explained what I had done – they quietly agreed to sign the death certificate.

Pining for the Fjords?

The 2wire router performed rather splendidly and soon became a permanent fixture in the office…But it appears to be pining for the Fjords (or something else entirely), every evening as the darkness descends it starts to log in and out of t’internet. It’s a little unsettled, bless, but there’s not time for emotion with a router (especially when I’m getting told off for it’s poor performance!!).

I’ve read tales of the Signal to Noise Ratio going up at night, either way I think the time has come to replace it with a new router (especially now I’ve tried reflashing the firmware on the router and it is completely doorstooped) – something equipped for the job in hand! Another Netgear methinks – now what revision is the DG834G on now……..