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You know you’ve been in leicester too long when………..

1) You’re always slightly surprised that the Haymarket Centre no longer smells of stale wee.

2) You know every nightclub in Leicester by a previous name.

3) You’ve watched City play, standing in the Family Enclosure.

4) You know who Dusty Hare is.

5) You remember Leicester United.

6) You are thrown by people who:
a) Don’t know where Brucianni’s is.
b) Don’t know how good their milkshakes (and ice-cream sodas) are.

7) You remember when it wasn’t a Leicester Mercury headline without the words “shock”, “horror” and/or “probe”.

8) You used to go into town especially to see Lewis’s Christmas windows.

9) You call people “mardy”.

10) You know what a “jitty” is.

11) You get disorientated driving down St. Margaret’s Way as you no longer have the swimming baths for reference.

12) You were amazed when the lions on the fountain turned out to be
bronze.

13) You’ve watched more than one large fire from the Great Central Way.

14) It’s not “mate”, it’s “me duck”.

15) You’ve been amazed at how often this was debated in the Mercury’s letters page, usually by some mad Northern woman and a handful of
locals
with far too much spare time.

16) You remember George’s Salad Bar, and have wondered what would’ve happened if you’d walked in and actually ordered a salad.

17) You’ve been to Twycross Zoo. More than once.

18) A Fox Cub has wheels and an engine (unless it’s actions are being narrated by David Attenborough).

19) You know which “Gate” is which.

20) You’ve been roller-skating at Granby Halls.

21) You remember when Fosse Park was ASDA, Everard’s Brewery, Oliver’s Shoes and some horses.

22) You’ve sat in Daniel Lambert’s chair.

23) You think Bobby’s is a good restaurant, but can’t believe that:
a) People actually travel all the way from India to eat there.
b) They can get away with using furniture clearly bought from a garden
centre.
c) It’s not even good garden furniture.

24) You can spell “Engelbert Humperdinck” and “Showaddy Waddy”.

25) You buy more Leicester than Cheddar cheese.

26) You know there are Diwali lights until the beginning of December.

27) You remember “Lineker’s” sparkly red and blue sign on the market.

28) You have actually shown this off to someone visiting Leicester.

29) You know the difference between a cob and a bap (and that your mates could back you up on this).

30) You’ve actually been into the Gas Museum on Aylestone Road.

31) You get a craving for a TJ’s when out drinking in other towns.

32) You don’t know anyone who hasn’t been to Skeggy.

33) You remember when Que Passa was the only Mexican restaurant in the County.

34) You spent years confusing salt & vinegar, and cheese & onion crisps.

Ahhhh, Leicester!

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 14th, 2005 at 10:33 am and is filed under Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.


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