The Twelve Laws of Inaccurate Perception
- SOD’S LAW, ALSO KNOWN AS MURPHY’S LAW
If anything can go wrong, it will.
- O’TOOLE’S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY’S LAW
Murphy was an optimist.
- THE FIRST COROLLARY TO SOD’S LAW
Anything that is to go wrong will do so at the worst possible moment.
- THE UNSPEAKABLE LAW
As soon as you mention something, if it’s good, it goes away; if it’s bad, it happens.
- NON-RECIPROCAL LAWS OF EXPECTATIONS
Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.
- HOWE’S LAW
Every man has a scheme which will not work.
- ZYMURGY’S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEM DYNAMICS
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.
- SKINNER’S CONSTANT
The quantity which must be multiplied by, divided by, added to or subtracted from the answer you get to give the answer you should have got.
- LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
- JENNING’S COROLLARY
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
- BARTH’S DISTINCTION
There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types and those who do not.
- NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES
The first 90% of the job takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90%.
- FARBER’S RULE
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.