Onions & Christmas Trees

A family is sitting around the supper table.
The son asks his father, Dad, how many kind of breasts are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and Firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”

“Onions?”

“Yes, see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kind of penises are there?” The mother, surprised, smiles, and looks at her husband and answers,
“Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, his penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it Is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?”

“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are there for decoration only!