Skillett.com » Jokes http://www.skillett.com Keiron's daily take on life, the internet and the world around us! Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:59:25 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= http://www.skillett.com http://www.skillett.com//images/favicon.ico Skillett.com If Web Browsers Were Celebrities [infographic] http://www.skillett.com/jokes/if-web-browsers-were-celebrities-infographic/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=if-web-browsers-were-celebrities-infographic http://www.skillett.com/jokes/if-web-browsers-were-celebrities-infographic/#comments Wed, 26 Oct 2011 17:10:16 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=1545 This amused me today: If Web Browsers Were Celebrities [infographic].

 

Celebrities as Web Browsers!

 

Related Posts

  • No Related Post
]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/if-web-browsers-were-celebrities-infographic/feed/ 0 Polaroid Camera Prank http://www.skillett.com/jokes/polaroid-camera-prank/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=polaroid-camera-prank http://www.skillett.com/jokes/polaroid-camera-prank/#comments Wed, 04 May 2011 16:46:36 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=1492 I was sent this today and thought it was brilliant! Enjoy!

Related Posts

]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/polaroid-camera-prank/feed/ 0 Did I Read That Sign Right? http://www.skillett.com/jokes/did-i-read-that-sign-right/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=did-i-read-that-sign-right http://www.skillett.com/jokes/did-i-read-that-sign-right/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:42:11 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=1179 Continue reading »]]> TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)

Related Posts

  • No Related Post
]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/did-i-read-that-sign-right/feed/ 7 Some people just won't move! http://www.skillett.com/jokes/some-people-just-wont-move/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=some-people-just-wont-move http://www.skillett.com/jokes/some-people-just-wont-move/#comments Sat, 11 Apr 2009 15:25:31 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=746

The Toxic Avenger ipod

Related Posts

  • No Related Post
]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/some-people-just-wont-move/feed/ 3 Bring on the Trumpets!!!!!! http://www.skillett.com/jokes/bring-on-the-trumpets/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=bring-on-the-trumpets http://www.skillett.com/jokes/bring-on-the-trumpets/#comments Wed, 25 Feb 2009 15:48:13 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=739 My sister showed me this at the weekend and it’s just brilliant, I don’t know why – it just is!

The Last of the Mohicans dvd Bring on the Trumpets!

Dirty Work download

Related Posts

]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/bring-on-the-trumpets/feed/ 3 The Mario Kart Love Song! http://www.skillett.com/jokes/the-mario-kart-love-song/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-mario-kart-love-song http://www.skillett.com/jokes/the-mario-kart-love-song/#comments Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:03:28 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=697 Via Darren

The finish line is just around the bend,

I’ll pause this game, so our love will never end

Related Posts

  • No Related Post
]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/the-mario-kart-love-song/feed/ 3 Looks Like I’m in Trouble! http://www.skillett.com/jokes/looks-like-im-in-trouble/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=looks-like-im-in-trouble http://www.skillett.com/jokes/looks-like-im-in-trouble/#comments Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:11:31 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=641

Shallow Ground download

(via Darren Byrne)

The Hustler hd Beauty and the Beast hd

Related Posts

  • No Related Post
]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/looks-like-im-in-trouble/feed/ 1 Solving Insurmountable Problems http://www.skillett.com/jokes/solving-insurmountable-problems/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=solving-insurmountable-problems http://www.skillett.com/jokes/solving-insurmountable-problems/#comments Sat, 25 Oct 2008 12:15:27 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=637 Continue reading »]]> A friend sent me this last week, and it just made me smile.. I guess this joke carries a warmth as well as a punch-line… it also tells us that there are many ways to solve insurmountable problems!

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig up his garden so he could plant his tomatoes but it was very hard work as the ground was so hard. His only son Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Love Takes Wing dvdrip Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I knowyou would dig the plot for me.

Love,

Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire move

Do your summer house cleaning stuff, but don’t dig that garden. That’s where I buried the bodies.

Love, Vinnie

At 4am the next morning the police arrived and dug up the entire area.

They left without finding any bodies.  They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love,

Vinnie

Rachel has been busy 1
Creative Commons License photo credit: ndrwfgg

Related Posts

]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/solving-insurmountable-problems/feed/ 2 A new Pope!! http://www.skillett.com/jokes/a-new-pope/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=a-new-pope http://www.skillett.com/jokes/a-new-pope/#comments Fri, 03 Oct 2008 22:05:43 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=610 Amazing what you can do with a voice-over and bit of a warped sense of humour! (Via Lottie)

2012 Doomsday divx

Related Posts

  • No Related Post
]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/a-new-pope/feed/ 1 Brightened my Morning http://www.skillett.com/jokes/brightened-my-morning/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=brightened-my-morning http://www.skillett.com/jokes/brightened-my-morning/#comments Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:36:24 +0000 Keiron http://www.skillett.com/?p=609 This picture brightened my morning….

Memories from my time with the Air Cadets spring to mind! The rule being you stay wrong until someone corrects you, you don’t go correcting it yourself!

Related Posts

]]> http://www.skillett.com/jokes/brightened-my-morning/feed/ 2